One of the things I notice when I talk to people and work with them is the lack of presence. This is not just in lovemaking, but in all aspects of life.
The body is there, but the head is churning with questions and distractions. I have some people tell me they need to think about things to get excited;they need to bring back memories to get excited; they need to think about porn to get excited. All of this thinking, remembering, conjuring fantasy, takes us completely out of your body where we feel pleasure into a place nobody can feel, our head and thoughts. Our head does not generate feelings of pleasure our bodies generate pleasure.
The head is not where we want to be unless we have a task to perform like thinking about something, writing about something or solving a problem
Our thoughts are going to lead us into areas that we really don’t want to live in. We don’t want to live in thoughts, memories, fantasy, and confusion. That is where the head wants us to be. It wants to override the wisdom of our bodies and pretend like it is the center of control. And it feels like the center of control. And if you let it, it will be.
And most people will say. That is how it should be. Not so much. To truly enjoy life and sex, you need to be fully present. Fully engaged in the in the moment. If it is thinking about your work then think about your work, solve problems, stay in the demands of your work. However, if you are with your partner be totally present with them. When you talk, when you have dinner together. Gaze into their eyes, feel the love you have for them, ignore your mind and any critical thoughts or problems. Focus your body and heart on your partner. Let the pleasure arise from your heart and body.
Being completely present during sex allows you to truly connect with your partner and bring you into a soul connection. I believe what most people are searching for is an intimate connection, a truly intimate connection and that only happens in our body and heart