I don’t normally tell stories on my clients as it is impolite and unethical. This is an exception. I asked as I often ask what he was looking for in Tantra. We talked about relationships and I said, “Do you feel like you have been missing a soulmate connection?”
Jim, not his name, looked at me horrified and said, “No, I hate that word. I never want to hear it again.”
And yet most of us long for the love Emily Dickinson describes in her short poem Wild Nights–Wild Nights. To be honest, I have more men I work with, seeking how to deeply connect with another person than Jim, who was horrified by the word soulmate. I dropped the subject so I don’t know where his horror arose from. Perhaps fear of intimacy.
Intimacy is what the majority of healthy people crave in a relationhips and yet it often feels just out of reach. Then when problems arise as they always do in a relationship, people tend to look outward, searching for that elusive soulmate. As my mother, probably the most underrated philosopher the of the century, said, “Jill, there are many soulmates for people.” Turns out she was right, even the great Tantra thinker Osho said the same.
And because I can’t say it better than him I quote :
“In the East, we have developed a science: if you cannot find a soul mate, you can create one. And that science is Tantra. To find a soul mate means to find the person with whom all your seven centers meet naturally. That is impossible. Once in a while, a Krishna and a Radha, a Shiva and a Shakti. And when it happens it is tremendously beautiful. But it is like lightning – you cannot depend on it. If you want to read your Bible, you can’t depend on it that when the lightning is there you will read.
The lightning is a natural phenomenon, but not dependable. If you wait for your natural soul mate to meet with you, it will be just like waiting for lightning with which to read your Bible. And you will not be able to read much either. For a moment it is there, and by the time you have opened the Bible it is gone. Hence, Tantra was created. Tantra is a scientific approach.
Tantra is alchemy; it can transform your centers, it can transform the other’s centers, it can create a rhythm and harmony between you and your beloved. That is the beauty of Tantra. It is like bringing electricity into your house. Then you can turn it on and off whenever you want. And you can have a thousand and one uses of it; it can cool your room, it can heat your room. Then it is a miracle. These seven centers in you are nothing but centers of body electricity. So, when I am talking about lightning, don’t think of it only as a symbol – I mean it literally.”
What he is saying is that through Tantra we align our chakras to the other person and when that happens as it will naturally with Tantra they become our soulmate. Their breath out, is our breath in. If we wait to find the prefect person or are constantly looking for the right one, it will never happen or happen so rarely we might hear about it from a friend of a friend.
Tantra doesn’t leave love and soulmates to chance. Yes, we are naturally drawn to a person usually because on of our chakra’s align or if we are lucky a couple. There is the beginning of the soulmate connection. We can either build on it or let life and its challenges erode the original connection. That is how life works.
We can create and nurture a soulmate relationship. As we create it the natural problems and irritations that arise in a relationship are lessened. Many arguments are diffused by using tantric techniques for communication. It is not a matter of finding your soul mate it is a matter of creating a soulmate connection.
Wild Nights—Wild Nights! (249)
Wild Nights – Wild Nights!
Were I with thee
Wild Nights should be
Futile – the winds –
To a heart in port –
Done with the compass –
Done with the chart!
Rowing in Eden –
Ah, the sea!
Might I moor – Tonight –