Monthly Archives: September 2017

Does Tantra Work?

Answers to questions I am asked—

Yes, Tantra works.

Are full body orgasms real? Yes, they are real and Tantra gives you full body orgasms.

Will Tantra help ED? Yes, it can completely resolve ED issues.

Will Tantra help with PE. Yup, it can resolve issues of premature ejaculation

Tantra also increases the intensity of orgasms, and produces simultaneous orgasms.

Tantra creates intimacy

It brings a couple into a soulmate partnership.

How is the done? I would like to say rather easily. The techniques of Tantra are surprisingly easy. Almost too simple so many people write them off, but with practice and increased presence Tantra works in your body to bring about great change. Changes that creates more intimacy and honesty in all of your relationships. Although the techniques are simple the caveat is they require a few things from the learner.

1-You have to be willing to learn

2-You need to have an openness to new ideas.

3-As the Buddha states, there needs to be a willingness to let go of attachment.

to ideas, behaviors, and words that no longer serve you.

There are some people who seek change, want change, but can’t or won’t let go of thoughts, beliefs, and actions that no longer benefit them. They hold onto how they think sex works and how men should work and how women should work. Tantra isn’t going to work against engrained unchangeable ideas.

Tantra will work if you only open up a little. Just a little, enough to practice the techniques, and let change happen. If only a little. A little opening of the mind, the heart, the body will allow Tantra to work its magic.

Yes, Tantra does work. I experience mind blowing full body orgasms, my relationship with others are vastly improved, my health is amazing, my sexual health is amazing. After years of anxiety and depression I experience very little of either and I am free of all medications other than my thyroid replacement that I have to take.

Tantra Works. Tantra is transformative.

Tantra and Shame and Mormons

I live in what is jokingly called the jello belt. It is where the Mormons settled in 1850 and there is a large population of Mormons where I live. They like jello. More jello is sold in Utah than in any other state. In fact, on my Dad’s side I am a fourth generation Mormon. On my mother’s side I am 5th generation Mormon. I don’t think my background could be more Mormon if someone made it up. I was raised on a farm surrounded by a large extended family. And I had a good life and was happy.

However, Mormonism was more a way of life than something that was spiritual. And there were just a lot of rules. Spiritually, it was not a good fit for me. It is for a lot of people and I respect that.

I have never been anti-Mormon. The only thing I find objectionable is the use of shame to control sexual behavior. The reason is clearly sex was made for pleasure and to be enjoyed. It is not a woman’s duty to have sex with her husband and it is not something you stop at a certain age, sex is always good.

So my problem is shame. Shame has no place in a person’s life. That is unless you are doing something so objectionable that it would land you in jail for many years. But most of us aren’t doing heinous things. Most of us are living decent lives, working, taking care of family, and not doing anything we should feel shame about.

We should not feel shame about giving ourselves self pleasure.

We should not feel shame about two consenting adults doing whatever.

Sex is delicious. It is a wonderful gift our bodies give us. Why would we need to feel shame about our desires, our needs, our fantasies.

I never picked up any shame from my Mormon upbringing. I was brought up to believe sex was a normal part of life. It is painful to me to talk with people who have had other experiences. That somewhere they have picked up shame about their bodies and sex. It is unfortunate and I am sure not what the Mormon church or God intended. The basic philosophy of the Mormon church is ” man is that he might have joy” Where did that get lost?

Tantra and how it creates Soulmates


I don’t normally tell stories on my clients as it is impolite and unethical.  This is an exception.  I asked as I often ask what he was looking for in Tantra. We talked about relationships and I said, “Do you feel like you have been missing a soulmate connection?”

Jim, not his name, looked at me horrified and said, “No, I hate that word.  I never want to hear it again.”

And yet most of us long for the love Emily Dickinson describes  in her short poem Wild Nights–Wild Nights.  To  be honest, I have more men I work with, seeking how to deeply connect with another person than Jim, who was horrified by the word soulmate.  I dropped the subject so I don’t know where his horror arose from.  Perhaps fear of intimacy.

Intimacy is what the majority of healthy people crave in a relationhips and yet it often feels just out of reach.  Then when problems arise as they always do in a relationship, people tend to look outward, searching for that elusive soulmate.  As  my mother, probably the most underrated philosopher the of the century, said, “Jill, there are many soulmates for people.”  Turns out she was right, even the great Tantra thinker Osho said the same.

And because I can’t say it better than him I quote :

“In the East, we have developed a science: if you cannot find a soul mate, you can create one. And that science is Tantra. To find a soul mate means to find the person with whom all your seven centers meet naturally. That is impossible. Once in a while, a Krishna and a Radha, a Shiva and a Shakti. And when it happens it is tremendously beautiful. But it is like lightning – you cannot depend on it. If you want to read your Bible, you can’t depend on it that when the lightning is there you will read.

The lightning is a natural phenomenon, but not dependable. If you wait for your natural soul mate to meet with you, it will be just like waiting for lightning with which to read your Bible. And you will not be able to read much either. For a moment it is there, and by the time you have opened the Bible it is gone. Hence, Tantra was created. Tantra is a scientific approach.

Tantra is alchemy; it can transform your centers, it can transform the other’s centers, it can create a rhythm and harmony between you and your beloved. That is the beauty of Tantra. It is like bringing electricity into your house. Then you can turn it on and off whenever you want. And you can have a thousand and one uses of it; it can cool your room, it can heat your room. Then it is a miracle. These seven centers in you are nothing but centers of body electricity. So, when I am talking about lightning, don’t think of it only as a symbol – I mean it literally.”

What he is saying is that through Tantra we align our chakras to the other person and when that happens as it will naturally with Tantra they become our soulmate. Their breath out, is our breath in.  If we wait to find the prefect person or are constantly looking for the right one, it will never happen or happen so rarely we might hear about it from a friend of a friend.

Tantra doesn’t leave love and soulmates to chance.  Yes, we are naturally drawn to a person usually because on of our chakra’s align or if we are lucky a couple.  There is the beginning of the soulmate connection.  We can either build on it or let life and its challenges erode the original connection.  That is how life works.

We can create and nurture a soulmate relationship.  As we create it the natural problems and irritations that arise in a relationship are lessened.   Many arguments are diffused by using tantric techniques for communication.   It is not a matter of finding your soul mate it is a matter of creating a soulmate connection.

Wild Nights—Wild Nights! (249)

Emily Dickinson, 18301886

Wild Nights – Wild Nights!
Were I with thee
Wild Nights should be
Our luxury!

Futile – the winds –
To a heart in port –
Done with the compass –
Done with the chart!

Rowing in Eden –
Ah, the sea!
Might I moor – Tonight –
In thee!


Tantric Sex Course

You have heard about Tantra and want to take a course. I have seen Yoni Egg courses for $899. and couple courses for as little as $189.00.  My Tibetan Tantra training and retreat were $4,500 and is now $12,000.  Most retreat weekends are $1,200 and up. Retreats from my experience and from the people I have talked to are going to get weird.  There can be a lot of strange negative energy.  It was always established that you can only learn Tantra from a guru as the teaching will be more authentic.  This has produced what can only be called guru mentality, where you take on the guru’s teachings without truly integrating them into your life. I don’t like guru’s for the simple reason is they usually don’t know more than other people they are just willing to force their way on others.  Does that mean I don’t think people need to learn new things and need to learn about Tantra. I think people should learn about Tantra, but in a way that is safe and trustworthy  and isn’t a financial burden.  Think about it.  Do you want to pay for a course, be far from home and realize it is an abusive situation.  This does happen.

IMG_0030I am not saying my course is the best or better than another person’s.  What I am saying is talk to the person running the course, see if there is a connection, ask what you can expect to take away from the course.  What will be the knowledge you gain. And teaching should have an objective.  If the teacher can’t give you one that is a red flag.

Tantra has become very trendy and as a seeker, it is wise to search out those that can best teach you the knowledge you want to know.

Tantra Sex courses are all over the internet and Facebook and Instagram right now. Tantra Sex Courses on Yoni eggs, how to be more intimate, how to have an orgasm.  Usually they are taught by an exotic looking man or woman or couple.  People take Tantric Sex Courses for a lot of reasons, many want to learn how to have better sex or how to have a more intimate connection with a partner.  Those are good reasons.   It depends on what you want to learn.  Do you want to learn a few sexual techniques that will give you better sex?  Yes, you want to take a Tantra sex course to learn how to have better sex.  That makes sense.  That is part of my course, but Tantra is a lo12adc23134e123c34a345efc00770989t more than sex techniques that you can learn from any sex book of porn movie.  I teach Tibetan Tantra.

It is based on Buddhist beliefs and can be traced back at least 5,000 years.  It is traditionally a linage based knowledge system and I began my study in a linage based tradition.

I certified later with a different group not from any failure on my part or my teacher’s part.  There was just a difference in our approach to Tantra.

I am not a self-promoter or a person that enjoys groups. I like working with people one on one.  However, there are plenty of people out there teaching without my experience or knowledge. My knowledge of Tantra and healing are something that you won’t find with many other teachers.

I view Tantra as a holistic approach to life, health, and sexuality.  I have been practicing Tantra for 14 years, 4 years professionally.  Before I began my professional Tantra practice I was a traditional counselor for 12 years with a MS degree in Psychology and 2 years of PhD work in Health Psychology.  Before that I had 15 years of experience in teaching with an MFA in Literature and creative writing from Bennington College.

I am very proud of the Tantra course I have put together.  It is concise, covers all that makes up Tantra and is practical.  I don’t withhold secret teachings to up-sell later.  I present all the knowledge I have gained, some of which I have mastered, some of which can only be gained through enlightenment.

BuddhaI have combined my training with Tibetan Tantra with other information I have found helpful and useful.  There are many types and schools of Tantra and for me I found a combination of differing approaches has worked best.  I also draw heavily on my training as psychologist. It has been my experience that I learn from each client as much as I teach them.  The greatest thing you can bring to Tantra is openness both in your heart and in your mind.  Plus, to make sure your own energy is flowing easily in your body through your chakra system along the central channel without blocks.

Tantra and the Conscious Cock

I feel sort of lazy posting links, but I think this person wrote much better than I can about the conscious cock. Unfortunately, many men are disconnected from their cock. I don’t know if it is a modern condition, but I think it might be. In many ways men can feel like they have lost their place in the modern world.

That is only if you judge your place in the world based on gender, which is obviously going to be problematic. If someone was to ask me what a conscious cock was I would say it is attached to a conscious man. A man that is confident, deals with his feelings, doesn’t expect me to fix him and doesn’t try to fix me. He is honest. He solves problems and tells me what he wants in bed. And he is in control of his sexuality, an doesn’t act like 16 year old boy who is getting sex for the first time. There is a big difference in passion and excitement. Passion deepens the experience excitement is like a cheap carnival ride.

Conscious cocks awakens my pussy to new feelings, leaves me feeling like there is not another cock in the world that makes me feel this good.

On the other hand bad cock, oh… it is when the man uses it like a weapon, with no concern for my pleasure and has no control over it. And it leaves you disgusted. This is not an experience I have had often, but occasionally in my marriage. I honestly don’t think any man wants to be that man.

Tantra and Male Energy

I have been busy learning new skills and deepening my understanding of Tantra. I do see mostly men, some couples and women on occasion. I believe I see a lot of men, because they feel safe discussing intimate issues as they feel it is justified in a Tantra session. So I learn a lot.

I have men I see for a variety of reasons. Tantra massage feels amazing so some men see me to experience receptive pleasure and relaxation. Some men see me to get help to resolving sex problems, such as ED or PE. Tantra is very effective for both.

However, one aspect of masculinity I struggle to understand is detachment, and suppression of emotions and misplaced guilt. I don’t truly understand why some men fail to make a connection with sex and their bodies. I don’t. I do know some men not all men, but some can’t connect their sexuality with anything other than feeling guilt or shame or that sex is naughty.

They don’t view sex as a means of connecting deeply to their partner or to the divine creative energy sex represents. This is very disheartening to me. Sex is not dirty, talking about sex with your partner isn’t going to make it less enjoyable. Women want men to want them. That is true. We do not want to be viewed as your mothers or sexless sofa companions. Tantra connects men to their sexual energy in a healthy manner that produces great sex, great orgasms, and great intimacy. Tantra creates your soulmate. Don’t let fear or lack of knowledge keep you from forming a truly intimate bond. I have linked this article for those men that want to be more aware of their male energy.